I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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