I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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