that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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