So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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