I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize