so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Quick, to the slutcave!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
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My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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