Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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