insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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