he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize