I wish I could punch you in the face.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize