mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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