At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
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Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize