he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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