Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
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When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
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came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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