it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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