if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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