im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize