is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
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I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
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He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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