at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
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He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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