Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
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Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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