Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize