Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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