Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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