I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize