i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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