You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
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When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
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Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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