Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize