All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize