The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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