On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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