You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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