sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
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It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
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He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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