Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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