she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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