I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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