Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
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she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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