I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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