I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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