I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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