Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize