i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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