Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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