I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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