i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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