You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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