I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
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Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Two words: nipple clamps
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