Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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