One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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