Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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