hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
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i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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